Revenge of the Shark

I am not a big fan of summer. Of all the seasons, it ties with winter as my least favorite. Ok, maybe that’s not completely true. Maybe winter slightly edges summer out as my least favorite but then again maybe not. In case you haven’t already guessed it I don’t like extreme weather. Don’t like it hot. Don’t like it cold. It’s currently summer. And hot. So at the moment summer wins that title. I wouldn’t even say it’s a love/hate relationship. It’s more of a like/tolerate relationship. Sure, I like everything that summer brings – barbecues, swimming, warm sun – but did I mention the heat? There was never really anything that got me so over-the-top excited about summer that I couldn’t wait for it to be here. Well, of course with the exception of my birthday on August 13th but that’s just a given. That was already a previously known holiday and was celebrated throughout the land. For those of you who are just learning this fact, you may now proceed with the festivities as you like.
Every year, there is something that I look forward to. We’ve already established it’s not my holiday, er, I mean my birthday. As the months get closer to August, I get excited. I count down the days with eager anticipation. Like a little kid at Christmas, the excitement builds. I know it’s August when I see those fins swimming across the T.V. That’s right…’s Shark Week. Shark week is currently upon us. Night after night, Mike and I sit on the couch to see what kind of education the Discovery Channel will give us. One of the first programs we watched was called “Summer of the Shark”. It was interesting. Experts were trying to explain why there was an increase in shark attacks. I have my own take on the attacks but first I’ll give you the expert opinion.
There was a change of weather patterns – warm water currents pushed cold water currents – increased the number of great white sharks in the area (off the coast of Australia). True. They were juvenile sharks, or as I like to call them, “teenagers”. Yeah, you know what I’m talking about. The juveniles don’t have parents to guide them and as many animals do, they take test bites to see if something is edible. They were learning how to hunt. Again, true. Great whites generally take a test bite and spit out. Unfortunately humans sometimes can’t spare a piece, even just a taster. It’s the other sharks you have to worry about. Those damn Tigers and Bulls. Those bad boys don’t just want the sampler platter. So the increase attacks came down to lower water temperature which brought more sharks and ones that were learning how to hunt prey.
Here’s my theory. Revenge. Plain and simple. The sharks have had enough. It’s bad enough that years of over fishing have depleted their food source but now they are being ripped out of the ocean for some lousy shark fin soup. What’s up with that? Cut off the fin, throw the shark back in the water and leave it to die? Of course they’re pissed. I’d be pissed too. I’d be on the hunt. If people can hunt them down than really, what’s so wrong with a shark hunting down a person? After all, the ocean is their domain. It’s not like they’re running out on land, shooting a man and running back into the water.
It’s amazing how people get so angry when a shark attacks a person and they want to kill all the sharks. Um, the last I checked you were swimming in their domain. Why do people think they are entitled to everything – land, sea, air? If something gets in their way then they need to be taken out? I say go for it shark. I’m not getting in their way. Yes, I respect them. Yes, I would love to go cage diving with the great whites. Notice, I said cage diving. With use of cage. I’m note just jumping in the water, swimming freely, oblivious of my surroundings.
I’ve also learned a few rules from watching Shark Week. Ways to avoid the sharks when in the water. These are the following to adhere to:
Rule 1. Never go diving for Abalone. Apparently, many an Abalone diver has been picked off by a shark – be it Great White or Bull. If you do not want to be a tasty morsel or a sampler platter, do not go diving for these.
Rule 2. Never go swimming in an area where they dump meat from a packing plant no matter how serene or beautiful the waters look.
Rule 3. Never go swimming alone. Sure, you can still be attacked in a group but your chances are much better when in a pack. When solo, you’re definitely a goner. Why do people get in the water by themselves? I repeat, why?
Rule 4. When you say to your friend/relative “It looks sharky out there” don’t ever get in the water. Seriously.
Rule 5. When someone tells you to be careful of sharks, don’t ever say, “Oh, that will never happen to me”. Um, hello, Murphy’s Law. Haven’t you heard of it?
If you keep these rules in mind you should manage to keep yourself pretty shark safe when swimming. Depending on where you are, you always have to re-evaluate the rules and use some good old-fashioned common sense. When in Durban, South Africa or anywhere in Australia, you must be pretty strict and make sure you pay attention to you surroundings at all times. Oh, who am I kidding. No matter where you are, be strict and pay attention to your surroundings at all times. The ocean is fun but remember you are just a guest. A visitor. A sampler platter.

You can call me Chaws

For an alternate ending and for different pictures, go to my other blog at:

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