>What a Boob

>For most of you this won’t come as a shock – I have big boobs. People always seem to think having the big guns are a great thing. You’re so lucky, they’ll say. Sure I am. I have to double up on the sports bras so I don’t knock myself out. Why they think it’s a great thing I’ll never know. I’ve always thought it’s a pain in the ass, well, actually the chest. I always have to search for that bra thats just right which is no easy feat. I remember walking into Victoria’s Secret and searching the shelves for my size. At the time I was a 36D. I asked the girl why there weren’t any hanging up. She told me, and I quote, “Oh we don’t hang those. They don’t sit right. The’re too big.” Nice.

After losing weight I thought I was a 34C. I was pretty excited. I wasn’t a D anymore. Yet, the bras were so uncomfortable, they kept riding up. I decided it was time to get a proper fitting. I went to a new shop called Intimacy. This place was amazing. Not only was I properly fitted but the bras were fab-u-lous. Sadly, I was still a D although not a 34, but now a 32. Confusing I know but as long as it fits and it all makes sense. Sure, this place is more expensive than Victoria’s Secret but not only do you get a proper fitting, they also will re-fit your bras when they stretch after the normal wear and tear. WOW. I was feeling pretty good. I filled out my information form and was on my merry way.

Imagine my surprise a few months later when I received a phone call telling me that I had won a drawing from the boutique. A gift certificate of $250. Holy shit! I won, I actually won something. I didn’t even know I had entered a drawing. Perfect timing too as I was just thinking about getting more bras. I arrived early for my appointment. The girl that helped me was great. Thankfully I had brought my previous purchases and she saw they needed to be adjusted as well. I had already gone down a size and now needed a 30. After I made my selections, the very helpful salesgirl took my old bras to send them out for re-work and I got my things.

As I was preparing to leave the room, what I believe to be the manager appeared and asked if I was the girl who one the gift card. I said yes. Here’s where it gets interesting. So called Manager said, “I’m so glad you came. When I heard you were from Oceanside I knew you could use that gift certificate”. Um, are you f**king kidding me? What the hell just happened here? I think the fact that my jaw was on the floor might have clued her to the fact that I was in shock. I actually didn’t know how to react. Hindsight – I should’ve taken off my giant shoe and hit her in the head with it.

The irony of the situation is that there are many homes in Oceanside that are worth millions of dollars. This is, after all, a beach town and real estate is still high. I just don’t know what shocked me more – the fact that this woman thought the entire city of Oceanside was poor or that she actually had the nerve to tell a customer, one that had already purchased from the store previously, that they were poor. I think she might have realized her mistake. She followed me out, kept telling me how she tried calling me for days. I told her if you don’t leave a message I can’t call. She said I didn’t have an answering machine. It’s a cell phone, it comes equipped with voice mail. I eventually did get a message which is how I knew I won.

I then told her it’s political season, I have political pundits calling me daily and I can’t be answering every call. She looked confused and walked away. I also whipped out my Coach wallet from inside my Coach purse to pay for my balance. Guess she didn’t notice that. She probably couldn’t see past my tailored jeans and black leather jacket. They probably looked too poor for her. I think it screamed skid row. Oh well, it’s back to the bowery for me.

*Update*
Customer relations for Intimacy is outstanding. They not only got back to me in less than 24 hours but they will be taking care of the situation (as well as taking care of me – wink, wink). I can feel better knowing that they honestly do care about their customers. I didn’t want to look for a new store. Who wants to run around town showing your boobs to new fitters?

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